Scratch-off Tickets

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

Today, September the 20th, is the very first day that Virginia had a statewide lottery.  It’s also my second wife’s birthday.  Not to make fun of Holy Matrimony…skip that, yes I am.

Being a true believer in Destiny and Numerology and about six other worthless ideologies, I instantly knew the perfect birthday gift for my little honey-bunny.   The cards had been dealt, the numbers were all in-line, it was meant to be.  So I went to 7-11 and bought her $100.00 worth of $1.00 scratch-off tickets.  Then I stopped at Lowe’s and got her a new kitchen mop.  And a box of unscented dryer sheets.  Just in case she didn’t like the scratchers.  Love was in the air!

After happy hour at Carlos O’Kelly’s, we shared a nice dinner in old town Fredericksburg. Back at the house, we retired to the bedroom, where she slowly, painstakingly, scratched each and every one of the one hundred lottery tickets.

Total investment, not counting dinner and essential household products, $100.00.  Total winnings?  $32.00.  Which, ironically, is how long the marriage lasted, depending on where you put the decimal point.

And before the man-haters start screaming, she’d be very impressed that I remembered her birthday after all these years.

You can bet on it.


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